The Journey to Having More

Owning My Story

The experiences and the stories in your life and mine have made us into who we are today. This is the very reason I believe owning our story is so vital in moving forward through the transitions in our lives as we transform forward into the life we curate and love. We can’t go back in time to the past, it has already taken place. Without the ability to change the past and knowing everything has happened for us rather than to us, there are truths and lessons to be learned and benefits that have been gained which we must hold on to with gratitude.

I don’t know about you, but I have lived an interesting life with many twists, turns, ups, and downs. And through it all, I have come to love who I am and the life I curated. This was not always the case.

In my marriage, I played small, pretended everything was fine, and played my part to allow myself to stay in a toxic marriage for twenty years. . . all because I did not love myself, did not believe I was enough because I was broken in some way. In a very self-harming manner, I believed I was unworthy of having what I desired.

I desired friendship, respect, honor, honesty, compassion, empathy, kindness, understanding, and love from my husband. The missing element and the hard truth was that I was unable to give these things to myself and therefore I had tied and bounded myself to a man who was incapable, unwilling to express, and void of qualities.

I was so busy chasing the approval, acceptance, love, and attention of my husband that I became a shell of who I am. I willingly took crumbs in exchange for me giving and caring beyond my threshold and my limits. I was always giving and he was always taking . . . and in truth, this is what I created for myself and allowed in my marriage. In the process, I endured bullying, negative talk, blame, silence, verbal abuse, physical violence, and anger. And in return, I showed up in mirrored reactions with the same, equally hurtful, harmful, and toxic behaviors.

Getting Fueled

I hold gratitude for the toxic end of my marriage, my husband leaving me, our 20-year marriage, and a 23-year relationship over a telephone call. In the toxic and painful divorce that followed I finally found the strength to say no more to the abuse, gaslighting, and bullying.

I stepped into my power to stand up for myself, my worth, and my value, firmly honoring the important role I had in our marriage, our time together, and my role in the success of his career and our family. Even without his acknowledgment or honor, I knew I had value and finally began giving myself credit, well deserved and well earned.

I learned to use this experience as fuel for opening myself up to possibilities of having all the things I desired for myself and from myself. I no longer needed his approval, acceptance, or validation.

I took the steps and actions necessary to own my own transformation to get out of being a victim and instead face the truth of my marriage, my husband, and how much I had harmed myself, him, and our children. I learned valuable lessons through the experience and today, use it as fuel and catalyst for something so much better, receiving all that I desire from the one person I can’t live without… me, myself, and I! And by owning my story and fueling my transformation and growth, I guide and help others do the same through my work.

Road to Having More

MORE for me, means having more of the things I want in my life. The specifics things change from time to time. And these things may be different from what I may want in life and what I need in life. . . either way, I want MORE and lots of it! At the moment, my intentions in my life are working towards and having MORE:

Love
Friendship
Family
Joy
Abundance
Laughter
Relaxation
Travel
Learning
Experiences
Time with those I love
Creativity
Connections
Cooking and enjoying food
Sacred Time for myself

What do you desire to have MORE of in your life? What story have you lived through? What lessons have you learned that is fueling your intention and quest for having MORE in your life?

I am both and neither

I am both and neither; A Glimpse into the Cultural Conflict of an Asian American

It began with a thought. 

I wondered if my Asianess or lack thereof, had anything to do with my life choices and spiritual journey, I was searching for more answers, more healing, more understanding...  just more. Do you relate? Have you felt like this? Have you had questions that rise up round your “Asianness” and “Americanness”?   

Yep, me too.

For over 20 years I’ve consumed, practiced, trained and studied the teachings of many ancient and modern spiritual teachers and life coaches. It was great! Their teachings and tools brought me true happiness, healing, and love into my life. I learned a lot and it worked, but something was missing.  NOT one single guide understood my experience of being an Asian American or a child of Asian Immigrants. I realized they could never fully relate or resonate with the subtle and overt influences and nuances of being culturally conflicted; caught between being both and yet neither Asian nor American. Asian Americans live with deeply rooted cultural programming, influences, pressures, and a unique external physical container that only other Asian Americans can understand or relate to. 

So, I’m stepping into the role to be the first Asian American Spiritual guide and life coach. To guide those of us who desperately need to be represented and heard so we can finally know it’s okay to want and have “MORE”.

Are you with me? 🙋🏻‍♀️

I realize that we don’t have this guide in the mainstream because it’s totally taboo, going against everything we’ve been taught and was ingrained from our upbringing.  Don’t express: 

• Your feelings

• Your pain

• Your trauma

• Your struggles

• Your desires

• Your dreams

• Your needs

I’ve always been criticized for sharing my feelings, experiences and emotions. How dare I put myself and my needs first, I should swallow and suffer in silence and do it alone. Even as I write this out, I’m triggered with internal voices of criticism of “How dare I speak up like this,” and “How dare I even share these thoughts.”

Just like you, I get triggered but here’s the thing, I move forward anyways in spite of them. I just tell my ego, “thanks for sharing, now shut the fuck up!”

You don’t have to do this alone. You are not alone, I’m here to help. Download a FREE meditation here.

From my own personal transformation and healing, I have a tool box full of keys to unlock the doors so you can fully and finally step into who you are with confidence, permission, and love. 

🔑 First key is STILLNESS.

Say what? What is this stillness I speak of? It’s about sitting in silence, getting quiet, being in peace and feeling centered so you can listen, gain clairy and be able to handle whatever shows up in your life. Use whatever term you want, meditation, mindfulness, being present. It’s simply a short time you give permission to yourself to take care of you, your needs and just be you.

Not sure how to do that or where to start?  No worries, I’ve got you covered. I created a 3 minute free audio meditation to support and guide so you can start on your journey. Download your FREE meditation here

Transition is Here to Serve

No Seriously! Transition is here to serve you, no seriously! I have hated and dreaded transition most of my life, then as I started on my spiritual journey many decades ago, I came to understand that they were always necessary and a blessing in the end. I saw them as an opportunity for growth and learning of lessons towards something better and working through much-needed shifts. This, however, did not make it easier, nor did I look forward to them in any way. I definitely did not enjoy the process! I found them difficult, triggering and at times the juggling of too many and frequent transitions took me took my knees. I spent a lot of time saying out loud “Seriously Universe, again, really!?” or “Haven’t I learned enough, what else is there for me to learn?” Do you feel me? Have you found yourself saying the same thing?

Each experience trained me, got me stronger and it did get easier and easier being in transition. It got easier because I simply began to trust and surrender to them.  I would roll up my sleeves, get into the yucky stuff inside myself, then do the hard work it took to take the necessary steps. What drove and fueled me was that I didn’t want to go through the same lessons again and again in different variations as I had in the earlier half of my life. And I had full, complete trust, and faith it was always for my highest good, even if I didn’t see it as such - I just made the choice to believed it was. I had a whole system and process I took myself through, began successfully guiding others through their own transitions. But they too found themselves lost in transition repeatedly. I was good at being in transition and they just kept coming again and again. I rolled with it and flowed through them the best  I could because I knew ultimately the Universe has my back.

What I recently learned is going to BLOW YOUR MIND!!! I know when I received this knowing, it shifted everything for me. It was the missing piece in my own personal spiritual toolbox and more than likely, it is also something missing in yours. I hope it will help to bring you more clarity, understanding, and acceptance around transition as it has for me.

I received this message from TRANSITION itself during deep meditation. TRANSITION told me and it wants me to share with you that it needs us to direct it where to go. Yup, you heard correctly TRANSITION needs us to tell it where we want it to take us. The exact message was “If you don’t tell me where to take you, I can’t take you there.” It was followed by “The UNIVERSE always has your back, you trust and believe this. We want everything you want for yourself, we want to give it to you, you just have to ask. So show me and I will just take you there, then you won’t have to keep thinking you are in transition because of me. I’m still with you, I keep coming back because you don’t tell me where I should take you. I keep trying but I have no destination - only you can give me this.”

I share this message with you because it was a game-changer for me. You have to firmly let TRANSITION know exactly where you want it to take you. We get the choice, the UNIVERSE is here to provide miracles and ultimately everything we need to make us fully happy is present and we are always divinely led. TRANSITION is here to take us wherever we would like. We enter into transition because a shift is necessary, this may be because we are not showing up authentically as our true self, we’ve lost our way, or we need to pivot and drop those things that no longer serve us so we can move towards our highest good. We get stuck in transition or transitions keep showing up because we never completely or honestly tell TRANSITION where we want to go, so it keeps trying and trying to get us somewhere which ultimately ends up being nowhere.

Most of us blame the transitional stage or circumstance that got us there or the people we think are at fault. The truth is TRANSITION is here to give us a ride from a location that does not serve us to where we want to be. But the destination is totally up to us!!!  How we get there is going to take reflection, honesty, and action. This is where TRANSITION is here to guide us, as long as it knows where we want it to take us.  Remember, we are always being divinely led. TRANSITION is here to serve us, it is a positive thing and working for our highest good. TRANSITION is only waiting on us, it is waiting for us to have clarity, be truthful with ourselves about our desires and it needs us for our next destination. This is what allows TRANSITION to guide us to the action steps, the dropping of old patterns, and the shifts necessary to get us from where we were, where we are to where we want to be. 

For myself, I want more of what I have now, it is the life I have intentionally and purposefully curated for myself. It took my life turning upside down and inside out, losing everything I thought was real and important, and kicking me in the ass along the way, to wake me up to being honest about myself, my life and the truth of it all. It took me through an unexpected and toxic journey that was difficult, yet ultimately for my highest good. It took a lot of trust, surrender, grace, and grit to get where I am today. 

Next, for me, there are specific things and a path I need to take to attain having even more of what I have in my life and TRANSITION is here guiding me through all of it. It was always here for me, for you too, for us - we were just too busy stressing it out because we weren’t providing it a clear destination. Having this new knowing has allowed me to clear the path for TRANSITION to take me exactly to where I desire to be. I am a willing passenger rather and a cluelessly controlling backseat driver . I’m just here for the ride being ready to take the necessary actions as it guides the way taking me to the destination of my choosing.

If you needs some help, let's talk! Sign up for a FREE 20 Discovery Call with me and let's see how you can use Transition to get you where you want to be! 🙏

Wisdom Wednesday

Wisdom Wednesday
May 2017 Numerology with Sangeet Kaur Khalsa

I have a dear teacher in my life named Sangeet Kaur Khalsa.  She has taught me, guided me and is a special presence in my life.  Sangeet has trained me in Reiki and in numerology, just as she was taught by her own teacher, Yogi Bhajan.  She came to me as my teacher when I need her the most and when I was ready to receive her.  Today, for Wisdom Wednesday I would like to share the WISDOM Sangeet shared on her blog this month entitled May’s Numerology: Make Your Life a Sanctuary, a Place of Love, Peach and Harmony.  A guiding message for us all to create a sacred sanctuary this month in our homes, so the we may have peace and harmony in our heart and in our minds.  

She  explains that this year we are in a Planetary Cycle of 10.  For most this is a great time for fresh new beginnings and blossoming lives and careers.  But for many, loud voices of anger overcomes them as they witness and experience the growth and expansion.  

This month provides all of us the OPPORTUNITY to create a new personal sanctuary in our homes and in our lives with peace, love and harmony.  This is achieved through prayer and meditation so that you may be supported by positivity, in words, action, and in thinking.  It's time to drop the anger that is in each of us.  RESPOND instead of REACT.  Creating a place of peace and harmony in our homes creates the same in our hearts and minds.  

Things to focus on in the month of May:

- create a peaceful and harmonious sanctuary in your home

- show love and compassion

- pray and meditate

- slow down your breath, let peace, love and harmony blossom within

Challenges and Blocks in the month of May:

- keeping promises made

- standing by your commitments

- speaking and doing things with heart and compassion

- breaking harmony within the home and elsewhere

Some tips on creating a sacred sanctuary within your home:

- create a space for prayer and meditation

- play peaceful music (follow my special spotify playlist Sacred Space of Peace Love Harmony )

- connect with nature and it’s beauty

- remove yourself from screaming and anger filled situations

This month is a time for walking the true spiritual path of love through creating sacred space for yourself and others, speaking kind words, sharing smiles, showing kindness and love to each other.  Without showing love and compassion for yourself and others you will become weak over time, weakening your immune system, stressing your nervous system, and eventually breaking your mind.  

As Sangeet says "This is the way karma works. Put in good, honest effort and you grow stronger. Build love and peace inside and you reap good rewards. Fail to take steps in this direction, whether consciously or unconsciously, and energetic backlash happens."

Yogi Bhajan, Kundalini Yoga Master and teacher, shared that when our heads are too full our hearts become empty.  Through slowing our breath and keeping our thoughts from consuming our minds it allows our hearts to fill and gives us the ability to share love with others from a true and deep space of tranquility.  There are wonderful heart centered meditations and breaths to help you this month.  Check back in on May 15, 2017 for Meditation Monday where I will share with you a meditation for Stress Relief and Clearing Emotions of the Past using the the breath pattern Sangeet shares in her blog this month.    

Got Your Back!

The Universe Has Your Back... always!

It has been months since I have written anything on my blog.  Life has been hectic and I have experienced drastic changes in our family life that have set up road blocks to sharing.  Then it was just a matter of needing the right thing to share after such a long break.  I’ve had countless opportunities to write a little something about cooking, yoga, meditation, family, my work on True Bliss Living, and other lifestyle curation topics.  Each and every time something held me back from writing.  But then the universe sent me a clear message of what my first writing assignment was after my long break. 

In 2009 I read a lovely book entitled “Add More Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness” by a young lady named Gabby Bernstein. I had just been certified as a Holistic Lifestyle Coach after healing from years of chronic illness and was on a path of self-discovery, nourishment and transformation. This book blew my mind!  The only hang up I had was that she was a young 20-something, single, living in New York City and I was 36 year old stay at home mom living in the suburbs, married, with two young kids.  I loved everything about the book otherwise.  As the years went by I watch the growth of her message and purchased every book and watched every offering that I could get my hands on, all the while still trying to let go of my hang-ups.

Then I didn’t follow her for awhile but in 2012, when I moved to Boulder and her book “May Cause Miracles” was published I visited her website again.  I discovered that she had added teaching Kundalini Yoga to her practice.  Kundalini Yoga was something I had experienced in 1999 when I was pregnant with my daughter but never bothered asking what type of yoga it was. It was a practice I loved but lost touch with the teacher when I took a break after the birth of my daughter and then my son only a year and a half later.  I had been searching for it but was unable to find it again until that point.  I took it as a sign from the universe.  I worked with her book and searched for a Kundalini Yoga class in Boulder only to discover it was taught at the studio where I took classes 4-5 times a week.  Thank you universe! 

Since 2012 I have trained and been certified in Emotional & Behavioral Eating, Lifestyle Meditation and Kundalini Yoga each time missing Gabby’s Spirit Junkie Master’s Workshop training.  This summer I made the full commitment during the busiest time of my life to take the workshop in NYC and now jumping into Spirit Junkie Master’s Workshop Level 2 in November. 

The hang-ups I had in the beginning have long disappeared, discovering it was my fear and ego holding me back and making judgments.  Now I experience miraculous shifts in my life which are not always pleasant but always important.  I am growing, learning and healing every day.  I love the what she has provided for me and the message she shares with the world.  

Last week Gabby published her latest book “The Universe Has Your Back, Transform Fear to Faith.”  This by far is the best book she has ever written.  The delivery and the lessons she provides is indescribable and invaluable.  It is showing me how much I have transformed and healed to reconnect with my true self, the lessons I still have to learn, how I can serve others, and how much more love the universe holds.  I am so truly honored to learn from Gabby and learn even more next month in her Level 2 Spirit Junkie Workshop Training.  And beyond that I hope she knows how grateful I am for her work and the service she has provided me, for me and for all others who have received the gift of experiencing her message and her light.  Thank you Gabby! 

Happy Birthday to Yogi Bhajan

Happy Birthday to Yogi Bhajan, my beloved teacher!

I woke up this morning at 2:45am to make it to the new incredible yoga studio RAMA Boulder.  There was a special morning sadhana with Sukhraj (Trista) and Guru Jagat who is honoring us from California (RAMA Venice) to celebrate and honor Yogi Bhajan's Birthday.  Sadhana began this morning at 3:30am with recitation of Japi then at 4:00 am we joined the simultaneous worldwide Guru Ram Das Chant, followed by a Kundalini Yoga warm-up set and a 2 1/2 hour chant of Long Ek Ong Kars.  

The combination of being Yogi Bhajan's birthday today, all the work that went into the opening of the new RAMA Boulder studio and the Kundalini Yoga community in Boulder coming together, it was a powerful morning Sadhana.  RAMA Boulder is instantly becoming a place where our community can come to celebrate, learn and grow together.  All week there are special classes with the full schedule beginning on Monday August 31, 2015.  Please come and enjoy one of the many classes taught by Sukhraj, myself and other incredible teachers.   Please check out the  RAMA Boulder Schedule and I hope to see you in one of my classes.  

I am truly blessed to have found the practice of Kundalini Yoga.  It has changed my life to have learned this incredible technology that was brought to us by Yogi Bhajan.  I have had the honor of learning from the best teachers here in Boulder, in Phoenix, and now from Venice, California.  I have made so many friends through this experience and truly feel a part of a community.  My body, mind, soul, and heart have opened to who I am, the strengths and gives I hold,  my path in this world, and all the the miracles that surround me.  

Happy Birthday Yogi Bhajan and thank you!

Sat Nam

One who loves, loves all not the one. When you love, all the one loves you because you are the one. Learn to love and love has no territory. Who has territory has not learned love because how can unlimited become limited. Love is God my dear, God is love and God and love cannot be separated. With love you find God. And how can you be limited and be God. Because God is unlimited. But in our limited life, with our jealousies and insecurity we want we to be loved alone and none else. We want to be respected alone, and none else. Only those shall be respected who respect all. Those shall be loved who love all. Those shall be given who give all. Those will have the share who share with all. 

Yogi Bhajan 7/9/79

Who is Yogi Bhajan?  Read about his life,his stories,his teachings, and the technology of Kundalini Yoga that has shaped and changed so many lives.