I am both and neither

I am both and neither; A Glimpse into the Cultural Conflict of an Asian American

It began with a thought. 

I wondered if my Asianess or lack thereof, had anything to do with my life choices and spiritual journey, I was searching for more answers, more healing, more understanding...  just more. Do you relate? Have you felt like this? Have you had questions that rise up round your “Asianness” and “Americanness”?   

Yep, me too.

For over 20 years I’ve consumed, practiced, trained and studied the teachings of many ancient and modern spiritual teachers and life coaches. It was great! Their teachings and tools brought me true happiness, healing, and love into my life. I learned a lot and it worked, but something was missing.  NOT one single guide understood my experience of being an Asian American or a child of Asian Immigrants. I realized they could never fully relate or resonate with the subtle and overt influences and nuances of being culturally conflicted; caught between being both and yet neither Asian nor American. Asian Americans live with deeply rooted cultural programming, influences, pressures, and a unique external physical container that only other Asian Americans can understand or relate to. 

So, I’m stepping into the role to be the first Asian American Spiritual guide and life coach. To guide those of us who desperately need to be represented and heard so we can finally know it’s okay to want and have “MORE”.

Are you with me? 🙋🏻‍♀️

I realize that we don’t have this guide in the mainstream because it’s totally taboo, going against everything we’ve been taught and was ingrained from our upbringing.  Don’t express: 

• Your feelings

• Your pain

• Your trauma

• Your struggles

• Your desires

• Your dreams

• Your needs

I’ve always been criticized for sharing my feelings, experiences and emotions. How dare I put myself and my needs first, I should swallow and suffer in silence and do it alone. Even as I write this out, I’m triggered with internal voices of criticism of “How dare I speak up like this,” and “How dare I even share these thoughts.”

Just like you, I get triggered but here’s the thing, I move forward anyways in spite of them. I just tell my ego, “thanks for sharing, now shut the fuck up!”

You don’t have to do this alone. You are not alone, I’m here to help. Download a FREE meditation here.

From my own personal transformation and healing, I have a tool box full of keys to unlock the doors so you can fully and finally step into who you are with confidence, permission, and love. 

🔑 First key is STILLNESS.

Say what? What is this stillness I speak of? It’s about sitting in silence, getting quiet, being in peace and feeling centered so you can listen, gain clairy and be able to handle whatever shows up in your life. Use whatever term you want, meditation, mindfulness, being present. It’s simply a short time you give permission to yourself to take care of you, your needs and just be you.

Not sure how to do that or where to start?  No worries, I’ve got you covered. I created a 3 minute free audio meditation to support and guide so you can start on your journey. Download your FREE meditation here

Meditation for Stress Relief

This month it's important for us to slow down our breath and let peace, love and inner harmony grow within us.  Sangeet, my teacher, shares that Yoga Master Yogi Bhajan often describe how our heads are so full that our hearts are empty.  When we keep our thoughts from consuming our minds it allows our hearts to fill up so that we may share with the universe and others from a deep place of tranquility and peace.  We accomplish this through slowing down our breath.  

Sangeet shares that slowing your breath to a pace of 4 complete breaths a minute will help to regain control over your thoughts, gain mental clarity and pull you out of reactive emotional states.  One complete breath is accomplished over 15 seconds (inhale for 5 seconds, hold for 5 seconds and exhale for 5 seconds).  Sangeet often shares using this breath will help to “keep the freak in!” and not let that freak out.  This breath will help create your sanctuary, allowing for clarity and calm to prevail and let your loving heart grow within you and touch those around you. Per Sangeet’s suggestion try this breath for 5­-7 minutes a day, at least twice a day, every day.

This month I share with you a meditation that uses this exact breath pattern called “Stress Relief and Clearing the Emotions of the Past” from the book, I am a Woman - Creative, Sacred, Invincible.   Feel free to use the video and meditate with me this month.  

[vimeo 216605372 w=960 h=540]

My Personal Sadhana

As I am going through my Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training. I have incorporated a more committed daily yoga and meditation practice. Today is such a beautiful day so I decided to move my practice outside on my balcony. Here is what my space looks like and the beautiful view I have as I sit on my lotus meditation cushion.  This is True Bliss Living at its best!

Lotus Meditation Cushions

More and more I am falling in love with my daily meditation practice and experiencing the benefits it brings me, to my life and that of our family. I even now hold a certification to teach an Introduction to Meditation workshop.  Look for these workshops in the near future.

As it is known I love to get crafty and creative. Last year I came across a very unique cushion at a women's retreat, one I had never seen before. It was so cute!  More importantly it was so useful!  Of course I came straight home and tried to figure out how to make it myself instead of purchasing it. Especially since these are not your usual meditation cushions and are not easily found.  Since then I have sold over a dozen and working towards updating my website to provide these lotus meditations cushions to everyone. 

These cushions are not only unique in there design but help your posture and supports your body for your meditation or yoga practice. You sit in the center with one of the petals between your legs lifting you up a few inches off the ground. The other petals gently wrap around supporting your hips, tailbone and lower back. You can move around the organic buckwheat hull filling to give you support where you specifically need it most.  These cushions are a perfect addition to help you in your practice. 

Since I am not a computer person and a bit behind in setting up the store portion of my website I am currently only taking orders via email or phone. I offer two main sizes large and medium. And will be offering a few in the small (child) and tiny sizes periodically.  

I love making them and love knowing I am helping to facilitate more people to incorporating a meditative practice into their everyday life. It is a lifestyle practice that is truly helpful in bringing bliss into your life.