I am both and neither

I am both and neither; A Glimpse into the Cultural Conflict of an Asian American

It began with a thought. 

I wondered if my Asianess or lack thereof, had anything to do with my life choices and spiritual journey, I was searching for more answers, more healing, more understanding...  just more. Do you relate? Have you felt like this? Have you had questions that rise up round your “Asianness” and “Americanness”?   

Yep, me too.

For over 20 years I’ve consumed, practiced, trained and studied the teachings of many ancient and modern spiritual teachers and life coaches. It was great! Their teachings and tools brought me true happiness, healing, and love into my life. I learned a lot and it worked, but something was missing.  NOT one single guide understood my experience of being an Asian American or a child of Asian Immigrants. I realized they could never fully relate or resonate with the subtle and overt influences and nuances of being culturally conflicted; caught between being both and yet neither Asian nor American. Asian Americans live with deeply rooted cultural programming, influences, pressures, and a unique external physical container that only other Asian Americans can understand or relate to. 

So, I’m stepping into the role to be the first Asian American Spiritual guide and life coach. To guide those of us who desperately need to be represented and heard so we can finally know it’s okay to want and have “MORE”.

Are you with me? 🙋🏻‍♀️

I realize that we don’t have this guide in the mainstream because it’s totally taboo, going against everything we’ve been taught and was ingrained from our upbringing.  Don’t express: 

• Your feelings

• Your pain

• Your trauma

• Your struggles

• Your desires

• Your dreams

• Your needs

I’ve always been criticized for sharing my feelings, experiences and emotions. How dare I put myself and my needs first, I should swallow and suffer in silence and do it alone. Even as I write this out, I’m triggered with internal voices of criticism of “How dare I speak up like this,” and “How dare I even share these thoughts.”

Just like you, I get triggered but here’s the thing, I move forward anyways in spite of them. I just tell my ego, “thanks for sharing, now shut the fuck up!”

You don’t have to do this alone. You are not alone, I’m here to help. Download a FREE meditation here.

From my own personal transformation and healing, I have a tool box full of keys to unlock the doors so you can fully and finally step into who you are with confidence, permission, and love. 

🔑 First key is STILLNESS.

Say what? What is this stillness I speak of? It’s about sitting in silence, getting quiet, being in peace and feeling centered so you can listen, gain clairy and be able to handle whatever shows up in your life. Use whatever term you want, meditation, mindfulness, being present. It’s simply a short time you give permission to yourself to take care of you, your needs and just be you.

Not sure how to do that or where to start?  No worries, I’ve got you covered. I created a 3 minute free audio meditation to support and guide so you can start on your journey. Download your FREE meditation here

Got Your Back!

The Universe Has Your Back... always!

It has been months since I have written anything on my blog.  Life has been hectic and I have experienced drastic changes in our family life that have set up road blocks to sharing.  Then it was just a matter of needing the right thing to share after such a long break.  I’ve had countless opportunities to write a little something about cooking, yoga, meditation, family, my work on True Bliss Living, and other lifestyle curation topics.  Each and every time something held me back from writing.  But then the universe sent me a clear message of what my first writing assignment was after my long break. 

In 2009 I read a lovely book entitled “Add More Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness” by a young lady named Gabby Bernstein. I had just been certified as a Holistic Lifestyle Coach after healing from years of chronic illness and was on a path of self-discovery, nourishment and transformation. This book blew my mind!  The only hang up I had was that she was a young 20-something, single, living in New York City and I was 36 year old stay at home mom living in the suburbs, married, with two young kids.  I loved everything about the book otherwise.  As the years went by I watch the growth of her message and purchased every book and watched every offering that I could get my hands on, all the while still trying to let go of my hang-ups.

Then I didn’t follow her for awhile but in 2012, when I moved to Boulder and her book “May Cause Miracles” was published I visited her website again.  I discovered that she had added teaching Kundalini Yoga to her practice.  Kundalini Yoga was something I had experienced in 1999 when I was pregnant with my daughter but never bothered asking what type of yoga it was. It was a practice I loved but lost touch with the teacher when I took a break after the birth of my daughter and then my son only a year and a half later.  I had been searching for it but was unable to find it again until that point.  I took it as a sign from the universe.  I worked with her book and searched for a Kundalini Yoga class in Boulder only to discover it was taught at the studio where I took classes 4-5 times a week.  Thank you universe! 

Since 2012 I have trained and been certified in Emotional & Behavioral Eating, Lifestyle Meditation and Kundalini Yoga each time missing Gabby’s Spirit Junkie Master’s Workshop training.  This summer I made the full commitment during the busiest time of my life to take the workshop in NYC and now jumping into Spirit Junkie Master’s Workshop Level 2 in November. 

The hang-ups I had in the beginning have long disappeared, discovering it was my fear and ego holding me back and making judgments.  Now I experience miraculous shifts in my life which are not always pleasant but always important.  I am growing, learning and healing every day.  I love the what she has provided for me and the message she shares with the world.  

Last week Gabby published her latest book “The Universe Has Your Back, Transform Fear to Faith.”  This by far is the best book she has ever written.  The delivery and the lessons she provides is indescribable and invaluable.  It is showing me how much I have transformed and healed to reconnect with my true self, the lessons I still have to learn, how I can serve others, and how much more love the universe holds.  I am so truly honored to learn from Gabby and learn even more next month in her Level 2 Spirit Junkie Workshop Training.  And beyond that I hope she knows how grateful I am for her work and the service she has provided me, for me and for all others who have received the gift of experiencing her message and her light.  Thank you Gabby! 

Hello October

See you later September, Hello October!

The month of September has been crazy busy for most people and I am no exception.  I started the month receiving more training for Himalayan Singing Bowls at a beautiful retreat in Estes Park with my teacher, Serun, along with special guests and other Singing Bowl Healers.  

Next was Firefly Handmade Artisan Market in Boulder selling my malas and mala bracelets.  These are such incredible pieces that are not only beautiful but carry the vibrational frequency of the mantras which I infuse into them as I design, create and hand knots the malas. They carry and incredible energy to help you in your meditation, devotion, give you inspiration, and set your intentions.  I had such a great time meeting people and teaching them about what I do and create.  I even brought my beautiful full moon Himalayan Singing Bowl and gave people a taste of the sound healing experience.  

I followed this up with my annual Womenheart retreat in Arizona with my mentor and Kundalini Yoga Teacher Sangeet.  We spent an incredible four days doing sadhana outside along the edge of a cliff.  We learned more about the Blessings Code Numerology and what we can expect in the up coming year.  I also had the opportunity to assist an incredible Himalayan Singing Bowl Healer, Guru Bachan with a Singing Bowl Concert for all the women.  I am sad to say that after 25 years this will be the last Womenheart retreat.  But the incredible women and my teachers will be in my heart and in my life forever.  

I am now teaching two classes at the new beautiful yoga studio Ra Ma Boulder.  Sundays 5pm-6:30pm for Kundalini Yoga & Meditation with Himalayan Singing Bowls.  Mondays 2pm-2:45pm for Clear Mind Meditation with Himalayan Singing Bowls. Just register on website Ra Ma Boulder and please come join me for a class.  

There are new and incredible things happening at True Bliss Living and the True Bliss Boutique.  The website is constantly being updated and find tuned to serve you better.  There are several new malas, mala bracelets, and my favorite new member essential oil defusing mala bracelets. There are big things in the works for the upcoming Holiday season along with some Holiday Discounts so keep a look out in the next newsletter.

October is pretty packed with Kundalini Yoga Classes, Meditation Classes, Himalayan Singing Bowl Private Sessions, new additions to True Bliss Boutique, and the new True Bliss 30 Self-Nourishment & Transformation Workshop.  I'm so excited to be launching this unique take on health and self-nourishment.  This is a program I have been working on and fine tuning and I'm excited to release it and open up registration.  Check out True Bliss 30 for more details and find out how you can nourish yourself and transform.  It will feed you in so many ways and get you ready and steady to face the holiday season.